Saturday, April 3, 2010

Time To Live Again - A Heroine's Thoughts

I just wanted to be left alone. Was that too much to ask? After my parents died days apart, I missed them immensely. But that wasn’t nothing compared to the grief I experienced when my beloved husband, Frank, passed away six months later.

Fortunately, Mary, my sister helped me through somewhat. But she didn’t really understand. How could she? She still went to bed with her husband every night. That was the worst. Those long, lonely nights. The days I muddled through, but I hated nighttime. I hated sleeping in that big empty bed.

I vowed never to marry again. I never wanted to experience that kind of pain again. Nope, marriage or a relationship wasn’t for me. I’d live out my life alone.

Then Mary died. Just like that. No warning, nothing. Just up and died. That was the last straw. I couldn’t let anyone get close to me. Well, no one but my best and only friend, Louise, because she wouldn’t give up.

My kids moved away and that was okay. They’d get used to me not being around and when I passed they wouldn’t experience that horrible pain and loss. At least that’s what I thought, what

I told myself. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

But this year something is different. This year I’m feeling melancholy. I’m missing Frank and Mary, missing my Christmas decorations. To make matters worse, Stephen, the man next door, keeps trying to speak to me. Heck, he even brought me a rose. For friendship, he said. Frank used to bring me roses all the time. Stephen awakens feelings in me that I don’t care to feel.
And his granddaughter and her friends are harassing me, sledding and building snowmen in my yard. Bringing back memories I want to keep buried. Memories of when my children were young. Memories of me and Frank helping build snowmen and sledding. Memories of a happier time.

As if that wasn’t enough, my sister’s ghost showed up. Heck, I don’t even believe in ghosts. But there she was, big as life, badgering me about giving life a chance. My life is just fine the way it is. Why is she bothering me?

Of course, she disagreed. Somehow, she managed to shake things up. Got me to thinking. Not something I wanted to do. Kept on about the man next door, insisted I give him a chance. She just didn’t get it. I wanted to be left alone. But she wasn’t about to leave me alone.
And then Louise had a heart attack. What if I lost her too? Suddenly, there was so much to think about. Yet, I resisted. I didn’t want to think, it was too painful.

Read my book, Time to Live Again to see how my life turns around.

Time to Live Again is available from Red Rose Publishing, and

Check out my website to read an excerpt. and my blog -

Time To Live Again